After two years of tuition, staying back, extra classes, assignments, and well, putting up with lousy teachers, the results are here.
How many days I've been thinking about this, wishing I could just know!!
I was kinda disappointed, I have to admit, Of course I wanted straight A's. But at the end of the day, I realised that all this while, I told myself, 8A's is enough, and now I really am content with what God has given me.
Thank You, Lord, for the 9 A's You have blessed me with. :DD
Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Well, Thanks guys for everything. This past month, I've had a lot of time to think. And some of my thoughts aren't exactly pleasant as you can see. I've been doubting a lot of the decisions I've made so far. Whether it's right to wanna go overseas especially when economy is so bad. Whether it's crazy to wanna get a degree from u.s. and then find that I wanna teach here at home.
And sometimes, I'm reminded of the fact that I'm only human and my many flaws are well... many.
And sometimes I lose faith in myself and in God. When you start asking yourself if this is it. This is life. We spend the early years preparing fro primary school. And then we spend primary school years preparing for secondary. and so on... when does it stop. What does life amount to. When you grow old and die, does it matter if you scored straight A's for spm?
Does it matter if you've got six beautiful wives? Does it really? So we are living life preparing for what? What does our days on earth prepare us for? Death is a scary thought, and we never really believe it until it looks us in the eye. What happens after death? Do we stop thinking? What bout breathing? existing?
Why am I so uptight about college thinking, worrying bout what I will do with the rest of my life? If my life ends now, I would have wasted the time I was given worrying over things I didn't know I didn't have to worry about...
So now what? Live n the moment? Sure, that sounds good. In books, in movies, we hear things like live in the now. But how many of us really do that? When we're not caught up with school work, we're busy with chores. When does it end? When exams are over? and then what?
I wish I knew. But, Lord, I commit my life to You. Yes, sometimes I doubt, and I feel horrible about doubting. But doubting and not believing are not the same. I believe in You and I want to keep doing so. Like when the lamb got lost and the shepherd carried it on his shoulders, and the shepherds lips were not far from the lambs ears, so I would like to think that in my darkest moments, in my moments of doubt, that God is closest to me. That He is right there waiting for me to turn around.
And so it is. What you do with your life has nothing to do with me. But I want to spend the time He's given me preparing for the next one, where I will be with Him.
This is my commitment Lord, strengthen me in faith, and in spirit, even in my darkest hours may I give thanks to You. Love me, Lord.
Amen
And sometimes, I'm reminded of the fact that I'm only human and my many flaws are well... many.
And sometimes I lose faith in myself and in God. When you start asking yourself if this is it. This is life. We spend the early years preparing fro primary school. And then we spend primary school years preparing for secondary. and so on... when does it stop. What does life amount to. When you grow old and die, does it matter if you scored straight A's for spm?
Does it matter if you've got six beautiful wives? Does it really? So we are living life preparing for what? What does our days on earth prepare us for? Death is a scary thought, and we never really believe it until it looks us in the eye. What happens after death? Do we stop thinking? What bout breathing? existing?
Why am I so uptight about college thinking, worrying bout what I will do with the rest of my life? If my life ends now, I would have wasted the time I was given worrying over things I didn't know I didn't have to worry about...
So now what? Live n the moment? Sure, that sounds good. In books, in movies, we hear things like live in the now. But how many of us really do that? When we're not caught up with school work, we're busy with chores. When does it end? When exams are over? and then what?
I wish I knew. But, Lord, I commit my life to You. Yes, sometimes I doubt, and I feel horrible about doubting. But doubting and not believing are not the same. I believe in You and I want to keep doing so. Like when the lamb got lost and the shepherd carried it on his shoulders, and the shepherds lips were not far from the lambs ears, so I would like to think that in my darkest moments, in my moments of doubt, that God is closest to me. That He is right there waiting for me to turn around.
And so it is. What you do with your life has nothing to do with me. But I want to spend the time He's given me preparing for the next one, where I will be with Him.
This is my commitment Lord, strengthen me in faith, and in spirit, even in my darkest hours may I give thanks to You. Love me, Lord.
Amen
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